You might have a team member who fancies themself a know-it-all. The company newsletter is riddled with typos? Dont indulge and dont commiserate with them, Dr. Childs advises. When youre at your wits end with a challenging colleague and it feels like youve tried everything, well-meaning friends and coworkers may tell you to just ignore it or to suck it up and move on with your life. You may unsubscribe at any time. These types of coworkers dwell on problems and rarely offer solutions. That could earn you a bad reputation as a complainer or a negative person. We all have our own strengths and weaknesses, our own habits and hangups, and were lucky if we find colleagues we gel with. 1. Figure that out and then try to create a safe space for yourself so that you can be happy no matter what your job is.. When youre at your wits end with a challenging colleague and it feels like youve tried everything, well-meaning friends and coworkers may tell you to just ignore it or to suck it up and move on with your life. The second is to convince them that your ideas are actually theirs this means youll likely lose credit for your work but will be able to work in a way that suits you. And some people need it made explicit for them. How to Handle a Difficult Coworker Interview Question - interObservers And the HBR article, How to Navigate Conflict With a Coworker.. Duncan: Managing workplace conflict is a . 1:53 How to Create a Collaborative Environment The Know-It-All This type of difficult co-worker often believes they have all the answers and may dismiss others' opinions. Ignoring Difficult People is Not an Option if You Want to Succeed. 5 Types Of Difficult Co-Workers And How To Cope - Forbes Ask for details to clarify the source. When dealing with a difficult coworker it's important to understand the other person and do some self reflecting. Work is challenging for lots of reasons, but most of us have probably come to realize that what makes or break a professional experience is people and sometimes we encounter a boss, peer, or direct report that isnt at all fun to work with. No. So, how do you stop the problematic colleague from affecting your workday? I love that. Bully:Confront the bully and if the situation persists, document their behaviour to approach your manager or the HR team with evidence. Theyre often slow, working up to the deadline when they could easily finish right away. For example, suppose you were working on a project together, and the duration of the collaboration was almost over. Its easy to say, Oh my gosh, theyre a know-it-all, they have no humility whatsoever. This applies to both conversations with your difficult colleague and with your friends who are advising you. This site uses cookies. Cleveland Clinic 1995-2023. Follow these steps to deal with difficult coworkers: It works well to try and identify whether dealing with your colleague is a priority. 2.2 2. Oftentimes you have to flatter them. Chances are theres someone in the organization who either feels positively about them or at least neutrally. They might say, Well, hes really brusque in email, but once he get to know him Or Hes insecure so he often talks about himself and his accomplishments, but hes really invested in the teams success. Someone who can give you a little bit of a different perspective. It makes me so sad we had to cut them out because I do think its really important that people recognize that sometimes they are that archetype, they are exhibiting that behavior, and yet it is so hard to see that. Fire cant burn without fuel, and the same is true in the workplace. After a productive meeting where you and the other person maybe agreed on something, thats a great time to sort of pull them aside and say, Hey, can we chat about how weve been interacting lately? Or Can we chat about what happened in the meeting last week? How to Deal With Difficult Coworkers in a Constructive Way Think back on whether youve been rude or if you mightve done something to instigate this situation. Now what? Focus on sharing an experience that is fairly simple to explain and demonstrates . All Rights Reserved. For example, next time you need to ask a difficult coworker for something, opt to email rather than making a trip to their desk. 1. So, were going to walk you through how you should deal with a difficult person at work so you can resolve any issues and enjoy your time at work. They are personalities that we all recognize: the passive aggressive peer, the biased coworker, the insecure manager. 1. Undermine your authority And I would go talk to them and not in a gossipy like, Oh, dont you hate Adam too? More of Im struggling with Adam. Do you have a jealous colleague? 1 Why Conflict Management Skills Are Crucial to Your Professional Life. Suppressing our emotions rarely helps. Track your attempts at addressing this difficult situation. In fact, 36% of those surveyed admitted to changing jobs due to an annoying or arrogant co-worker, and 96% revealed that they get annoyed with their co-workers on a regular basis. Oftentimes the know-it-all is the classic, I blow your candle out so mine shines brighter. And the first thing you need to do defensively is make sure that your good work is known. Overall, the best tip we can give you when dealing with workplace conflict is to stay calm. Ask them whether their behavior is intentional or unintentional. Naming these feelings might be enough to diffuse your frustration. Example: "I know Marge is going to discuss a movie I haven't seen yet at her desk for lunch. Here are some of the objectives you may set: Get transferred to a different department, Related:Setting Goals to Improve Your Career. In that case, it might not be worth your while to start dealing with the colleague, especially if chances of working again are none. This helps to gain a perspective that may lead to both of you getting along well. So I do think its good to bring it up. One of my favorite questions to ask people who are dealing with a difficult colleague is:What would you do about this situation if you could do anything you wanted? ALISON BEARD: And so you seem to be suggesting that each of these types need to be approached in a different way. A toxic coworker is someone who adds more stress and chaos for other workers. Never miss an opportunity thats right for you. Let them know that this is not a comfortable space for you and not a topic you want to indulge in, Dr. Childs suggests. AMY GALLO: The first real principle to keep in mind is that your perspective is one perspective. Then, when youre coming up with a plan for how you want to respond to your insecure boss or biased coworker, refer to the list and make sure that the tactics you land on align with your values. Behave professionally at work. ALISON BEARD: Okay. This shows youre willing to have a positive relationship. So you have to really think about, will this help in the end or will it just make me feel better to have set it to someone in power? If you work in an office space together, you can try to literally distance yourself from your difficult co-worker. By seeking their advice, it will signal your desire to have a positive relationship. They always have an excuse for everything, blaming anything and anyone but themselves. Talking about your frustrations with the coworker and asking someone else for advice can also be helpful. What is your purpose? You can bring your friends or other people into your dilemma either before or after you confront this problematic person, but getting a third opinion is always a good idea. To keep your career on track and find some peace at work, use these 8 tips for how to deal with a difficult coworker. Ensure you have some valid proof of what has been going on. 25 Things To Do When Youre Bored At Work. These are the people who always have a tragic excuse for their behaviour and who are always trying to bend the rules by pulling on your heartstrings. If its really serious and you always disagree, make sure the two of you dont have to work on a project together. Its overrated in that there are going to be difficult people everywhere. Solution: Dont participate. David explains: Have you ever yelled at your spouse or child after a frustrating day at work a frustration that had nothing to do with [them]?When you bottle up your feelings, youre likely to express your emotions in unintended ways instead, either sarcastically or in a completely different context. Included in her experience is work at an employer/intern matching startup where she marketed an intern database to employers and supported college interns looking for work experience. ALISON BEARD: You have a good fashion sense. Suppressing your emotions is associated with poor memory, difficulties in relationships, and physiological costs (such as cardiovascular health problems). 8 Tips On How To Deal With Difficult People At Work - Zippia But we know, again from research and what Ive seen in practice, is that it really does help that person just be in a better frame of mind. So with the know-it-all, you have some room to say, Oh, what are the facts and data youre basing that on? Or, Huh, you seem really sure of that. There are many constructive ways to deal with a difficult colleague, but the strategies vary depending on the person. Sometimes, colleagues may raise a valid critique point. Analyze what norms and rules in your workplace have contributed to the behavior of your co-worker. She wrote the new book Getting Along: How to Work With Anyone, Even Difficult People and the HBR article, How to Navigate Conflict With a Coworker. Hey, Amy. Because on the one hand, if things are going well and you think they will continue to go well, and you can let go the past bad behavior. They complete their work, but only just, and they thrive on doing the bare minimum. Youre only a passive aggressive person. This means not only hiring people with the right experience and skills, but also those who are likely to mesh well with the team. Here are tips to help coworkers. How To Deal With A Difficult Employee and Succeed in 2023 I dont believe shame is helpful or productive. Try to choose an example that aligns with the position that you're seeking. Time waster or latecomer:Set clear deadlines and if you are in a leadership position, train them to manage their time well. Example situational questions about dealing with difficult customers include: 'An agitated customer demands to speak to your manager, but the manager is attending an important meeting. We begin to worry if were good enough to be here, if people like us, if were going to lose our job, Dr. Childs says. For many employees, its a serious enough issue that it causes a problematic work environment that prompts the search for a new job. Often other things need to change to prevent incivility, he says things like the incentive system, whos promoted and rewarded, how meetings are run, and the pressure people are under to perform., A few years ago, the head of HR for a health insurance company asked me to train their staff on how to have difficult conversations. Such engagements can be very encouraging and may lift your morale as you go through the day. How To Deal With A Difficult Coworker (With Examples) - Zippia What are the ways were going to interact? However, I dont want people to use them as a pejorative label that really either tries to diagnose someone or distance yourself from someone. Find out for sure before confronting them. Solution: The only way to deal with a negative Nancy is to avoid them at all costs. ALISON BEARD: Yeah. ALISON BEARD: Yeah. What Happens To Your 401K When You Quit Your Job? You know the type. She wrote the book Getting Along: How To Work With Anyone, Even Difficult People. The last thing you want to do is tell them theyre great. But worst case, gossip can be hurtful and create a workplace atmosphere of antagonism and resentment. What can you do to improve things now, instead of waiting for someone else to change? Solution: If you find that the busybody is offloading to you on a daily basis, its time to set some obvious boundaries. How can you take steps so that fear is no longer a risk? Get to know their perspective. We never became best friends. The best approach to answering this question: Use I language to increase reception of your message instead of you, which may prompt a less productive response. You should discern if youre dealing with a coworker who is uncooperative, lazy, or downright mean. We all tend to be overconfident at times. Do I need to maybe be a little more subtle in my feedback or my requests for their behavior change? Discover how to also give effective feedback to others. Note that blocking some types of cookies may impact your experience on our websites and the services we are able to offer. Its something like 76%, which obviously is statistically impossible. Solution: Its hard to navigate around the Slider. I dont really have anywhere positive to go. To deal with overly-competitive coworkers, create a culture of healthy competition at work. This is a fun one. 6 Ways to Gracefully Handle the Most Difficult People in Your LifeCo-workers How to Deal With Difficult People Without Losing Your Cool. Maybe this person doesnt know their behavior is harming people. Thats not an ideal outcome if your goal was to improve your quality of life. Its also a good way to acknowledge your co-workers feelings if they, too, were hurt by the situation. If you like todays episode, we have more podcasts to help you manage yourself, your team and your organization. Ask about the ETA for their work and politely push for an explanation. You can block or delete them by changing your browser settings and force blocking all cookies on this website. In other words, sucking it up doesnt usually decrease your stress level. Whats something that you would do with a know-it-all that you wouldnt do with the other types? How To Deal With Toxic Personalities In Your Workplace - Forbes What can I shift in my consciousness or in my work interactions that will help assuage that some? 10 Difficult Workplace Personalities and How to Deal with Them You could say something like: Hey Barry, Ive been trying to get hold on you on [x project] to make sure you received my email and paid [x client]. Also, make it clear to this difficult co-worker that things aren't going to change if they continue to indulge in chronic complaining. Youre only a know-it-all. ALISON BEARD: Yeah. 35+ Ways to Deal With Difficult Coworkers | Career Contessa Its not fair to you to be treated like that, and the situation wont go away unless you take action. ** To stay compliant with CASL (Canada Anti-Spam Legislation) you MUST check the EXPRESS CONSENT button below to begin this service. Theyre loud in meetings, rarely accept criticism, and make reckless decisions. Research has shown that its not just you who suffers the physical impact of suppression either. You might experience sleeplessness, anxiety and low self-esteem. They make you feel stupid by saying derogatory comments, shouting at you and constantly trying to prove you wrong. A bit of competition is healthy in the workplace, but when your colleague starts staying two hours late every day just to beat your call time, you know somethings wrong. Figure out why your difficult coworker bothers you so much. Keep a list of your accomplishments and share it with your manager to help them recognize your work before someone else takes credit for it. One of my favorite statistics about this is how many people actually think theyre better than average drivers. They may not know exactly what youre feeling and thinking, but they register underlying tension just the same. Two things I will say about the passive-aggressive peer, is that oftentimes that behavior, again, which all of us exhibit at times, I actually know I did it even this morning, we all do it at times, is that often its based on a fear of rejection, failure, conflict. Avoid engaging in any of their gossip, and try to excuse yourself from negative conversations. If you call them out, for example, youll not only need concrete evidence to prove your point, but youll also end up branding yourself as a snitch effectively making you the most unpopular person in the office. These people like to steamroll over other peoples ideas. Limit your chat with that type of colleague and do your part to keep your conversations decent. They likely wont recognize that you are simply defending yourself by lashing out. Stay Professional. Focus on the situation and your actions rather than personalizing the conflict. Eventually, the tension will boil over, and it might cause you to act unprofessionally or in a way you didnt mean. Joanna joined the CareerAddict content team in 2017, and her role has evolved into a multifaceted one over time. This can be a good time to agree to bring a boss or another team member into your conversations if you feel like the first discussion didnt get you anywhere. Joanna holds both a BA and an MA in journalism, and previously worked within a variety of fields including HR and recruitment, travel, fashion and entertainment. In this piece, the author outlines four tactics that are tempting to try but often backfire when dealing with a difficult colleague. But one of the keys there, and I really caution about going to HR because you want to choose someone to escalate to who actually has the interest, the motivation and the skills to intervene. Common ground can be a common objective, a shared value, perspective or opinion when dealing with a difficult coworker. How To Deal With These 12 Types Of Difficult Coworkers 2.3 3. Before your conversation with your co-worker, and even during, you should set boundaries. You have to really do that neutrally, which is hard. . Youll want to stay professional, and reacting immediately could cause more issues if youre upset. If you are the passive aggressive peer, what to do. I ended up tolerating a lot of the behavior, setting a lot of boundaries. Everyone has a story about a difficult coworker. A 2018 study on workplace behaviors reported that [e]ven the actions of a single toxic person can have ripple effects, creating more widespread discontent and conflict. It saves you much time that would have been spent solving issues from the difficult colleague. Going forward, Id appreciate it if you sent me a quick note to let me know its been actioned so I can tick it off my list. And retaliation often makes you look bad. Do you work with someone whos always hard to track down? Summary. you dont want to immediately respond to a situation thats upset you because you might lash out before you have time to cool off. How exactly do you do it? If you dont deal with the issue or the person causing the problem, its like leaving a pot on simmer. Other than that, sit back and watch them crumble when they cant take credit for anyones work anymore. Self-promoters are sneaky creatures and will throw you under the bus without hesitation if it means getting ahead. These relationships might complicate workplace relationships. They focus on the negative and look for problems instead of solutions. If this person is your supervisor or boss, it might be best to start looking for a new job. What do you want for yourself? Micromanager:Ask for more unsupervised roles and collaborate with them efficiently. Join the conversation below to let us know which category they fall into and what your coping strategy is. Here are seven signs a coworker is threatened by you and how to deal with it. If theyre in the kitchen when youre making a drink, be quick and get out you dont want to find yourself trapped in an endless conversation with them about how sh*t everything is. Criticism is healthy when it leads to progress. Some studies even show that difficult coworkers can lead employees to leave their companies. Letting the behavior can also lead to disagreements or frustrations which could impact your workday. How to Handle a Difficult Co-Worker - Verywell Mind Although this kind of key employee is essential in any company, their bad attitude can quickly drive you to hopelessness. The following are reasons why you should know how to deal with difficult coworkers: When you learn how to deal with them, you can apply this important skill at work and other areas of your life, such as business and client conflict resolution. Determine whether interacting with the coworker at that time is a priority It works well to try and identify whether dealing with your colleague is a priority. AMY GALLO: Thanks Alison. So rather than focusing on the tone they used, focus on, Well, what is it theyre really trying to say? And then do something called hypothesis testing, where you say, Well, I heard you say this. What are your goals? They take the lead on projects and dictate what part of the project you should handle and how you should go about completing it leaving you with absolutely no control or the ability to use your creativity. . If someone is spreading particularly harmful lies, politely ask them to stop. So one was a boss, and everyone told me, Shes not the easiest to work for. And I was like, Yeah, whatever. 2.4 4. Instead, make sure that every step of the way, you remind yourself that youre dealing with a fellow human, not a robot or an arch villain. We spend eight to 12 hours a day at our workplace, which is almost more time than we spend with our families, Dr. Childs says. 1. Either way, thinking about the other persons perspective is an excellent way to prepare to talk to them. Here are five of the most trying types of work personalities and how to handle them: There is at least one in every officethe slacker who has a knack for doing the bare minimum of actual work while you can hardly keep your head above water. This was fun, as always. Bren Brown distinguishes between shame and guilt, Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People). Interpersonal conflicts are common in the workplace, and it's easy to get caught up in them. Thats the first thing is really be clear with yourself about the costs and benefits of that conversation. When youre having this conversation, try your best to use I statements (like I dont feel appreciated when you do this) as opposed to you (like you excluded me from the meeting). Its essential to hold your ground and maintain your professionalism, but you cant do either of those without staying calm. Is that right? And that shows them its okay to actually be direct about what youre thinking and feeling. No workplace is without difficult co-workers. How to Deal With Difficult Coworkers in a Constructive Way Written by MasterClass Last updated: Feb 8, 2022 2 min read Learning a few simple conflict resolution tactics can help you deal with difficult coworkers and managers alike, making it easier to build positive relationships and reach your career goals. Im not promising, its going to go a hundred percent easily, but theyre more likely to hear you. If we refuse to be a part of something, we starve the fire.. But when they conducted the culture survey again, they got almost exactly the same results. Avoid fighting. Ultimately youre better off trying to create a workable situation with your colleague now. Set your boundaries. They might have personal issues you dont know about. The following are different coworker types of situations: Stolen work credit:Assess the severity of the situation calmly talk it over with your colleague. A light-appropriate joke might calm everyone. Theres such a thing as innocent office gossip, but sometimes, it can go too far. Youre progressing, and then youre like, Oh, but lets talk about all of our problems.. For example, suppose you were working on a project together, and the duration of the collaboration was almost over. Solution: Try acknowledging your difficult coworkers complaints and subtly moving the conversation elsewhere. We do not endorse non-Cleveland Clinic products or services. I dont want to be around them. And I think quitting is both an overrated and an underrated option. Set boundaries. If you find out someone is gossiping about you, review the company policy to check what ethics are to be maintained. ALISON BEARD: Is your advice any different based on whether the person youre dealing with is a direct report or a boss or a peer? UK English | And you actually dont have to have an answer, but you can take steps to do many of the things weve talked about. Details. In this article, we discuss some examples of challenging coworkers and provide tips for dealing with them. Cleveland Clinic is a non-profit academic medical center. In this article, we explain why employers ask questions about working with difficult people and the steps to take to form a thoughtful response, plus we offer two example answers to reference when crafting your own. What To Do When You Feel Unappreciated At Work, How To Deal With A Passive Aggressive Coworker. Theyll become BFFs with the boss to make sure they get special treatment and are next in line for a promotion even if someone else is more deserving and better qualified. Acknowledge that they do have a point and try to ask for details and find a solution. Because people will say, oh you solved this problem for me last time, I have a new problem you can also solve for me. Im Alison Beard. Best practices, research, and tools to fuel individual and business growth. 4 Tactics that Backfire When Dealing with a Difficult Colleague

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